Here’s a post I’m not especially excited about, but trust as a step toward making more that I am.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the pros and cons of this blog. That’s what’s on my mind, so I’ll write about it.

Seems right to start with the downsides.

The photography lacks creative direction. There’s no coherent aesthetic or story to the sets of photos. Putting more energy into that sounds fun and I’d probably be decent at it, but I don’t have the time. For now, the focus is on the writing (and my job). No one’s going to spend four hours writing about their feelings and then three more making sure all the photos are cute in the same way. The blog is supposed to be a low-friction way to process thoughts and put more signal into the world. Getting hung up on creative direction would slow it down or derail it.

Writing inevitably exposes parts of myself I’m embarrassed by. Before posting, I pat the writing down for anything too mortifying. Some things still make it through. A few days later I’ll reread a post and think, “Oh wow. That might have been too much.” It’s hard not to let things get by when you’re writing from a sincere place. I’m okay with it for now.

I’d planned to write more essays that kept me out of them. But I’ve been the main subject so far. Using writing to clarify my thoughts and feelings has been nice. I’m okay with that, too.

My enthusiasm for any given post has a shelf life of about two weeks. After that, it reads like something I would hesitate to share at all. I expect that reaction to fade with more practice.

Similar to that, but different: I don’t think I’ve really said anything yet. Mostly I’ve been writing about what I’m thinking. Maybe I should share a strong outlying opinion, or the story of the last time I cried. That could be cool. 🥹

I could be spending the time bootstrapping a vending machine side hustle. With ironic snacks, or hard-to-find European chocolates. Maybe zines. You walk up to the machine expecting Snickers, and it’s zines. Sounds rad. But I’m here writing.

You have to actually do the writing. Like, cry? Turns out your thoughts aren’t already pre-baked in a neat line. You have to sort them out. It’s frustrating, but nice when it’s done.

The subject matter so far probably exposes a deficiency in the conversational venues that I’m a part of. I’d like to be in more ongoing group conversations about esoteric topics––craft in Japan, say––but I recently relocated and haven’t fully built those out. So the blog sometimes ends up as a repository for stray thoughts I don’t get to share IRL. I’m okay with this, too. The website is a line in the water for connecting with Unconventional People.

I tend to pre-apologize for what I’m saying. This whole post is basically that. Maybe it’s the last go with the habit. Like, a bachelor party for pre-apologizing in blog posts.

Lastly, I don’t like the CSS. I’ve got a better styling idea and I’ll try to implement it during the August break.

Here are the pros so far.

The main one is the psychoactive benefit. I feel noticeably better after writing. It’s weirdly similar to the feeling after exercising.

I expected this going in because I had heard people talk about it, but it’s been stronger than I thought. The feeling is of being more expanded and resolved. I think this happens because writing puts you in alignment with your authentic self. It’s like a self-integration procedure. I recommend writing to anyone looking for that type of thing.

An unexpected thing happened when I started working in consumer packaged goods: convenience stores became more interesting. You start noticing how things are displayed, or what the trends are in peanut butter. Same thing when I worked identifying plant species: walking in the woods became more entertaining.

Writing is like the meta version of this. You start paying closer attention to your whole experience.

Enough people have written to me about the site to say it’s nice. That’s been rad.

All things considered, the pros outweigh the cons. So I'll make some changes and keep going.

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